Over the weekend I'm going to be tidying up my muses flists and communities. Any inactive journals and/or communities will be deleted. I will also be dropping a few communities that I haven't been current with for any lengthy period.

If I have removed your journal in error, please let me know and I will happily re-add.

Also, if you suddenly find civ_barbarian on your flist, but have never had anything to do with him, you are probably friended with one of my other muses, and I just happen to use that one as my main reading journal. It's just easier to keep track of so many in one place. If this is the case, please feel free to friend that journal back, or not as you wish.

Any other comments/questions, leave a comment to this post...which will stay at the top for the next few days.

List 25 Facts people probably don't know about you . . .

1. My real name.
2. Aliases other than Smith.
3. That Smith could be my real name.
4. My age.
5. Where in Britain I was born.
6. How I got to the United States.
7. Why I left Britain.
8. How I became so fucking good as a nanny.
9. Why I like carrots.
10. Why I'm so secretive.
11. If I was Black Ops or not.
12. Fuck, even if I was in the military.
13. How I got to be so good.
14. Why I'm homeless.
15. And lived in a squat.
16. Why, when I have skills, I'm on welfare.
17. Why I get so annoyed with jackholes.
18. I'm happy with people thinking I don't exist.
19. I fuck up their lives when they realize I do.
20. How I am fucking good with just about any firearm you can name.
21. That I usually prefer to mind my own business.
22. I hate corrupt Senators.
23. And corrupt, money grabbing gun lobbyists.
24. And their hired lackeys.

Oh, and...

25. I'm the Unabomber.

Take a few steps back, take a left instead of a right, and walk down the road not traveled in your past.

What if I hadn't been sitting at that bus stop that night, minding my own business and drinking my coffee and eating a carrot? Things would have been a fuck sight different. What if I had, and when that pregnant woman stumbled past me, followed by those jackholes, I decided to do what I seriously considered and continue minding my own fucking business?

I would have had a quiet life, living in my squat, getting some extra money from making deposits at the sperm bank, and otherwise getting by without getting my arse shot at. Sure, fuckholes like Hammerson and the Senator would still be out there, but I'd be happily oblivious to that. Bigger arseholes like Hertz would still be the fucker he is, but again, not to me. Life would have continued as normal.

But, shit, on the other side, Oliver would've been dead before he was even born. DQ would still be letting johns suck her tits. Fuck, I may regret it sometimes, especially when I think about all the shit Hertz put me through, but I have DQ, Oliver, and even Duchess. [locked from Hertz] And secretly, it's kind of cool having my own little family.[/locked]

The Green Bus pulled outside of the Dairy Queen, Smith knew...just knew...that DQ and Oliver would be somewhere around there waiting for him. He was still hurting and sore from the final showdown with Hertz and his paymaster, Hammerson, but at least those fuckers were out of the picture now. He adjusted the bandages on his busted up hands. It would be sometime before he could hold a gun properly again, and hopefully, he wouldn't have too.

He looked down at Duchess, Hammerson's dog, who looked back at him with her soft brown eyes. She was a lot better off with him, he figured, than that jackhole, even if he did have no home, no money and a family to feed and look after now. "Come on." They stepped off the bus and headed towards the restaurant. He figured he could ask in there if they had seen DQ, and get a coffee at least.

Sitting down at a booth, he wondered how things would be. It wasn't as if they were the perfect nuclear family, or would he ever have the little house with the white picket fence, but he did have DQ, a baby and even the dog. Perhaps they would all start again, together, and have some fucking peace and quiet. He was drawn from his thoughts by a woman's voice, a familiar, accented one,

"Shhh. Don't worry little boy, Mama will be watching you while she's working."

****
Smith
Fandom: Shoot 'Em Up
239 words (not including quote from movie)

( Reward Offered for the immediate capture of... )


Who among your friends or family has been the best influence on you? Who has inspired you, helped you or kept you in line long enough to achieve something good?

There's never been too many of those, people who inspire or have been a good influence on me. Most jackholes are just fucking useless, and like the rest of us, they go from one fucked up situation to the next. There is one exception, Oliver. I'm not going to get all touchy-feely, but I could have easily left that kid to get his brains blown out by Hertz. He was nothing to me. I didn't know him or his mother, even if I had just delivered him. Just a helpless, fucking baby who couldn't do anything except cry and shit.

But I saved his life, and looking at the little bastard, that's pretty fucking good.

( Well, I would be... )

And I'm not telling you jackholes any more than that.

Why Smith is just so very, very cool! And Hertz too!

(OOC: I think this prompt was made for Smith. *g* The first three are quoted/paraphrased from the movie, all the others are based on canon.)

Do you know what I hate?

I hate forty-year old jackholes wearing ponytails. A pony tail doesn't make you look cool or hip.

I hate when parents hit their children. How would they like it if someone came up to them and started spanking them? Wonder if they think it feels good.

I hate assholes who can't be bothered to move their finger one fucking measly inch to use their turn signal and drive safely. Just because those rich bastards are so callous and inconsiderate in the first place to make all that money that when these pricks get into their luxury cars they can't fucking help themselves. It's in their nature.

I hate fuckers that make assumptions about who you are and how you got here.

Same with fuckers that refuse to die.

Oh yeah, I also hate balding, middle aged men who use a big gun to compensate for a tiny dick.

I hate Senators who think it's a pretty smart fucking idea to make deals with people who stand to profit.

I hate jackholes who refuse to eat their vegetables.

I hate fat assholes who slurp their milkshakes. Are those last fucking few drops in the bottom that important to get to that you have to sound like a fucking industrial suction pump?

I hate jackhole rednecks who wear Birkenstocks, women's earrings, give me the fucking finger, and who also think they're tougher than all shit.

That's just the short list.

There really isn't a whole lot to Smith's timeline as...well he's not very forthcoming.

1962 -- Born, United Kingdom.
7 September, 2007 (approx 1 am) -- Sits at bus stop minding own business
+ 2 minutes -- Sees jackholes hunting a pregnant woman
+ 5 minutes -- Delivers baby boy and kills jackholes, one with a carrot
Next 48 hours or so -- kills a hundred more jackholes, 1 Senator, saves 1 baby and 1 lactating prostitute.
-- gets fucked up by head jackhole, Hertz, fingers busted.
-- shoots Hertz
-- gets the fuck out of the city and finds aforementioned baby and prostitute safe at a Dairy Queen.
-- shoots three more jackholes using a carrot.

What sorts of problems have you encountered with developing/playing/writing your characters? How did you overcome these difficulties?

With Smith the biggest problem is that there is, other than the events of the movie, no information to go on. He has no backstory, and the guesses that his enemy, Karl Hertz, does make are neither confirmed nor denied by him. We only get to know his last name, Smith...and that might not even be it. Other than him being English, he could be anybody. Likewise the movie is as vague, with the city never being identified or the location of where he, Oliver and DQ end up.

In a way it is both freeing and challenging. I have a blank slate with Smith, in that as canon tells me nothing, I can make him what I like. At the same time, though I like the vagueness about him and the fact that this very capable, firearms expert, came from out of nowhere and it seems a shame to spoil that with making up some backstory for him. And therein lies the problem. It makes answering some prompts quite difficult as it limits me to just answering with what is seen on screen. At the moment, as he's still quite new, it's not too bad, but once he's answered all that he can, I'm hoping that there will be something that will carry him on.