User Profile

You know what I hate?
Baby's Mother: No!
I hate these forty-year-old jack-holes wearing ponytails. That pony tail doesn't make you look hip, young, or cool.

You want to know the difference between this luxury car and a porcupine?
DQ: I give up.
With the car, the prick's on the inside.

Mr. Hertz:Oh yes sirey Bob, it certainly has been a pleasure. But before we part ways, tell me one thing - I am dead on about who you are, right?
Say that again?
Mr. Hertz: I said I am dead...
Stop. That part of it you got right.

I move my finger one inch to use my turn signal. Why are these assholes so lazy they can't move their finger one fucking measly inch to drive more safely?

[DQ is breastfeeding another man] Wait your turn, Smith, there's plenty to go around.
Not for me, thanks. I'm lactose intolerant.

I'm the Unabomber.
DQ: They caught the Unabomber.
That's what they think.


Call me Smith. I don't like a lot of things, there's a lot I do hate. You know what I really hate? Fuckers who try and kill newborn babies. That's how I got these busted up fingers, DQ, Oliver, and a body count of over a hundred.

OOC: A word about prompts, especially those that have count limits (minimums or exact ones especially). Don't expect Smith to adhere to them too much. He doesn't care, and anything said to get him to conform is likely to be met with one of his "You know what I hate..." rants, and none of us want that. If this gets him booted from some comms, so be it, he'll find somewhere else. He's just not the wordy type.

Smith is from "Shoot 'Em Up" and although he's a good guy, he's a very violent and angry one, who's not above shooting off ponytails or umbilical cords or using carrots as a lethal weapon. Don't expect him to be pleasant or even nice. A man without a past, or even a real name, he's very good at shooting in all kinds of situations and taking care of a baby. Smith is played by Clive Owen and as such does not belong to me, but the producers and writer of SEU.

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